A New Land
by AngelicFiend
Summary: When a message in a bottle washed up on the shores of District 4 with startling evidence that more than Panem still existed in more than a primitive state, Katniss, Peeta and Haymitch are called to the Capitol to a confidential meeting regarding the situation. How will they deal with this startling new evidence? All from Katniss' POV unless stated otherwise.
1. Chapter 1

**AU Post Mockingjay  
Katniss/Peeta; Katniss/Haymitch**

_When a message in a bottle washed up on the shores of District 4 with startling evidence that more than Panem still existed in more than a primitive state, Katniss, Peeta and Haymitch are called to the Capitol to a confidential meeting regarding the situation. How will they deal with this startling new evidence?_

_All from Katniss' POV unless stated otherwise._

* * *

It had been two years since the rebellion had ended. Almost everyone had returned to their homes. Mother had stayed in the Capitol. I think she felt closer to Prim there. I had sent her Buttercup for company and from the short phone calls I had with her both she and Buttercup were enjoying life in the Capitol.

District 12 had been reborn since the rebellion. Peeta had been elected Mayor and used his money as a victor along with his government appointed money to rebuild and aid those who wished to return. Annie had moved to District 12 as well. She said she felt closer to Finnick when she was near Peeta and I. I don't think she could stand to raise Finn in 4.

I lived with Peeta in the Mayoral House near the new town center. We hadn't married yet. The idea of me marrying was still a very foreign idea. I was nearly twenty, but I felt like young girl still. If anything I felt even younger than I had before Prim's name was drawn in the reaping.

Dr. Aurelius says that now my mind can mature at a natural rate, I had regressed in part to a time where I didn't have to make all the decisions. When I was still a child. I disagreed. I knew I could make decisions if I wanted to. I just didn't want to. Hadn't I made enough decisions? Every decision I have made since the first reaping has caused death and destruction. _And rebirth._ I have to remind myself. If the uprising had never happened, if I had never become the Mockingjay then nothing would have been changed at all. Things might have even been worse.

It was a nice day today. The scent of Spring was in the air, and my fingers itched to go to the woods and hunt. I left mine and Peeta's house and headed down to where the Seam had once been. On the edge of the Meadow an archery range had been built. Gale taught anyone who wanted to learn how to hunt or snare how to. At the moment Gale was in the open air range throwing up clumps of earth for a young girl to shoot. Out of the five clumps she shot four. She was good I decided.

I walked into the small locker room and got the bow Beetee had made me and some normal arrows. I felt the hum as my bow 'woke up' in my hands. I had made it as far as the gate in the old fence before I was stopped.

Panting and clutching his side Haymitch comes towards me.

"Where do you think you are going, Sweetheart?" Haymitch panted out once he reached me.

"The woods, to hunt. What does it look like?" I snapped back as I held my bow up. Ever since my restriction to District 12 had ended Haymitch had made a point to make sure he knew everywhere I went.

"Not today you aren't. Didn't you receive the Message on your communicuff?" He looks down to my wrist noticing that once again, I wasn't wearing it. Shaking his head, he took my arm and started to pull me back towards the Mayoral House. "President Paylor is going to be here soon, and we need to be at your house in about five minutes. Come on move, Sweetheart!" I allow myself to be dragged back home and into the small office Peeta used for any work he needed to bring home.

Peeta stood by his easel absentmindedly playing with his paintbrush. He still painted. But his paintings had grown even darker. He now painted what had been implanted during his hijacking. Mostly me as some mutt or another.

Annie stood in one corner holding a squirming Finn in her arms.

I walked over to Peeta, told my bow to go to sleep and put it down. I wrapped my arms around his waist, resting my head on his shoulder. He didn't flinch whenever I did this anymore. That was another reason I wouldn't marry him. He still hadn't fully recovered from his hijacking. Although almost himself, sometimes another 'shiny' memory would be triggered.

A moment later President Paylor entered to room. Since being elected president she hadn't changed much. She wore her dark hair in a bun and instead of bending to the Capitol idea of fashion, she instead looked back to the powerful women of the America's before us. Her black tailored suit was cut effeminately but still made her seem authoritative.

She sat at Peeta's desk and looked around for a moment. Finally she spoke.

"What I say now, does not leave this room without my say so. If none of you can agree to this, then leave now and no penalty will be held against you."

I felt like leaving. I didn't want to be involved anymore than I had been in the Capitol's politics. I went to move but Paylor's eyes locked onto mine. She shook her head slightly and I froze. Obviously I had no say in the matter either way.

Annie walked to the door. "I don't know if Finn will repeat anything said in here, and when I go away, I don't know if I will say what has been said. I'll leave." Paylor nodded and waited for Annie to leave and close the door.

"Its a shame Annie left. She might have been helpful in this. Something has happened. A young girl in District 4 has found something on the shore of the beach. A message."

I didn't think this was very remarkable. Unless another uprising was going to happen.

"It was found in a bottle several days ago. What is interesting about it, is that it my prove that Panem isn't the only habitable place on Earth. We all know there are some primitive settlements here and there, Snow's government discovered them. But if this message is real, it comes from further than Panem has explored.

If this is real, it could mean a lot of things. Most importantly it could make or break the peace we have established in Panem. I want you all to read the message and then once you are done I want your advice on what we should do about it."

Haymitch started to move towards the letter first.

"President,why are you asking us? Why not Plutarch or Beetee?" I asked. I still wanted no part in this.

Paylor smiled at me, I could tell she was expecting some resistance from me. "I already have, Miss Everdeen. But I also wanted your opinions as well."

I nodded still not satisfied with the answer. _I will never be satisfied with the Capitol. _I decided.

Peeta went and read it next. I stood there, tapping my foot as I waited my turn. Whatever it is I had decided to go against though. This was all just for show.

Finally Peeta finished reading the letter and it was my turn. The moment I started, I couldn't stop.

_"My name is Kiaga Barpha and I am 12 years old. I hope someone finds this letter. My mother and father say that there is only Kundana in the world. But I don't believe them. I think there is more than what there is. If anyone finds this please come looking for us. I have included a map of my country so it will be easier for you to find. My teacher says we are in the Southern Hemisphere. Please come find us so that we can know you."_

I put the letter down, a million thoughts racing through my head. The most prominent being that she reminded me of Prim.

"We should go." I say before anyone has a chance to answer. Haymitch gives me an incredulous look and Peeta shrugs.

"I agree. Someone needs to go. I cant. I... I don't know how I will handle it."

Paylor nods at both of us. Then she turns to Haymitch.

"If Katniss actually thinks it is a good idea, then it must be. I mean lets face it. She doesn't agree to anything." He says with a chuckle. I give him a scathing look in return.

"Well its unanimous then. Peeta, I agree with you. I mean no insult, but I would not have asked you to come based on that very reason. You are still doing the near impossible recovering from the hijacking. Katniss, Haymitch. If you can be ready to leave by evening, we will be heading to the Capitol at 1700 hours. I have a hovercraft waiting to take us."

I step out of the office with Peeta and Haymitch following me. I say goodbye to Haymitch then head to my room. Peeta comes with me. Once the door shuts, he has me in his arms.

His lips softly kiss my head as his hands roam over my back. I feel the familiar tightening in my stomach at his touch. We still hadn't done much more than this. Peeta was scared he would loose control of himself if we did more. Thankfully Dr. Aurelius had explained to me, rather uncomfortably, the basic mechanics of masturbation or I don't think I would have much relief at all. Peeta's lips traveled down my neck to my collarbone, his teeth lightly skimming the skin. A small moan escaped my lips. I pulled him closer to me, feeling the heat of his passion pressed against my own. Slowly, so as to not startle him, I move my hand down and palm his erection through his pants. Peeta stiffened, his lips no longer moving on my skin.

"Katniss. No." He says through gritted teeth. I sigh and pull away from him.

"I know. I'm sorry." I move to start getting some of my clothes ready, grabbing a suitcase in the process. I knew I was being abrupt with Peeta, but I couldn't help it. There was only so much I could handle.

"Don't leave angry with me, please." Peeta's voice cracked with the emotion behind his statement. I turned back to him.

"I'm not not angry with you, Peeta. It was my fault. I'm angry with me. I shouldn't push you the way I do."

He walked towards me and drew me back into his arms. "What if you don't come back Katniss?" The fear in his voice ripped at my heart.

"I will be." I say with half a smile, but barely believing it myself. "When has the Capitol ever put their Mockingjay in harms way?"

Peeta just shakes his head. "Its not the Capitol that I'm worried will hurt you. I'm worried you will do something stupid."

I cant help but laugh now. Peeta had a point after all. "I swear to be on my best behavior. Plus, you know I will always do everything in my power to come back to you."

I finally finish packing. I decide to take clothes, bathroom necessities and my bow. I take everything down to the entrance foyer and see Haymitch waiting there with a few suitcases and what looks like a crate of his white liquor. Even though he can now buy half decent alcohol, he still insists on drinking that poison. I never understood why.

Peeta comes to stand next to me, another of my suitcases in my hand. I raise my eyebrows at him confused.

"Can you imagine if you went to the Capitol and didn't take any of the clothes Cinna designed for you? Your prep team would have a heart attack!" In all honestly what my prep team would think of the clothes I took with me was the last thing on my mind when I packed, but they have always held a special place in my heart. Insulting them is like insulting children.

I put the case next to my others. Then give Peeta one last kiss. As we draw apart, Peeta turns to Haymitch. "Look after her, please? You know how stubborn she can be. You seem to be the only one she will listen to."

"Sure thing Peeta. You hear that Sweetheart, you mess up and I have to deal with him... so don't mess up." I smile at the two of them. "I'll be good, I promise!"


	2. Chapter 2

We arrive at the Capitol and Haymitch and I are whisked off to our now familiar rooms at the old training center. It was now an apartment building of sorts, reserved for guests of the president. The top floor was left especially for Peeta, Haymitch and I. When we step out of the elevator, Effie is waiting for us in the main room. She was going for a turquoise theme this year it seemed.

"Effie, its so good to see you." I say with a warm smile. And it really was. I felt so in debt to her when I think of what she went through to protect me. Our bags had already been taken to our rooms, so I slumped on one of the couches. Haymitch sat down next to me, and Effie sat opposite us.

"Well we have a big big big day tomorrow! The president wants you both in the counsel room at 11 o'clock to discuss this big secret. And before that, Your prep team will be coming at 9 to get you ready Katniss. But this evening, you are both free to do whatever. Dinner will be here in an hour." She relaxed her shoulders and dropped the formal tone. "So, can you tell me what this secret is? I'm included in the meeting, but they wont tell me anything! I must not be important enough."

I almost laughed at the sulky tone Effie used. Haymitch snorted. "Our lips are sealed. The president will have us hung from our asses if we tell you."

Startled as usual by Haymitch's brutish manner, Effie stood. "Well... I... I'll be going off to my room now."

We smile at her as she walks out and Haymitch leans over and grabs a bottle of wine off the coffee table between the two couches. Without getting a glass he pops the cork and takes a swig from it. "So Sweetheart, what do you really think of all this?"

I stop and think about it. "It seems almost impossible for there to be another civilized country out there. How had we not heard of it before now? I mean, surely the old Capitol elites, like Snow knew about it... They must of."

Haymitch shrugs "Maybe." He takes a swig from the bottle then passes it to me. His fingers brush mine as I grab the bottle and a feeling like electricity seemed to pass through me. I subconsciously shake my self. I must still be amped up from my encounter with Peeta earlier. I take a swig from the bottle and decide that I may as well get drunk with Haymitch tonight. Since the end of the war I had been drinking a lot more than I would like to let anyone I knew know. Haymitch was the only one in on my personal secret. I now understood why he turned to the bottle after he won his Games. Happiness may not have been at the bottom of the bottle but there was a numbing calm there almost as good as morphling.

The night was dull. Haymitch and I sat there in relative silence as we slowly downed one, then two bottles of wine. Halfway through the third I decided it was time for bed. As I stood, I found I was a little more drunk than I first thought and swayed on the spot.

"Lemme help you there Sweetheart,." Haymitch slurred. He was a lot more drunk than he usually was as well, having downed at least a bottle of white liquor as well as the wine. Haymitch swayed over to me and wrapped an arm around my waist as I put my arm around his shoulder. Slowly we made our way to my room. At the door, we stopped and I opened the door.

"Thanks Haymitch." I say, and in my drunken state move forward to give him a hug. As I moved in he lowered his head and somehow, our lips locked. I had kissed two men in my life. Peeta, who's kisses were almost chaste and innocent. Then Gale who's kiss felt like I was kissing a brother. Haymitch on the other hand, there was something else. It was almost animalistic. He started to back me into the room, my hands roamed over his body. I could feel his need pressed against me. It felt different to Peeta's. _Peeta!_ I pushed myself away from Haymitch. "Stop." I say, panting. There cant have been much conviction behind my voice. Because to be honest, I didn't want him to stop.

Haymitch's breath was ragged. "Katniss, I'm sorry. I don't know what came over me. I shouldn't have-"

I shake my head. "Don't worry about it. We are both a bit more drunk than we usually are. We just need to make sure it doesn't happen again." I take a few more steps away from Haymitch. He nods and goes to close the door. "Night, Sweetheart."

I lay awake in bed that night. Not sleeping. My mind kept flashing back to the feel of Haymitch's lips on mine. The feel of his maleness pressing into me. I bring my hand up and gently pinch one of my nipples through the thin fabric of my night shirt. If I thought hard enough it could be Haymitch's mouth tugging gently on my nipple. My other hand slowly traveled down my body and under the elastic of my pajama pants. I let my finger slowly move over the already slick, sensitive skin of my sex, brushing against the throbbing nub. I was bringing myself closer and closer. I felt myself almost there. Then there was a soft knock on my door. With an impatient sigh I stand and wrap a robe around myself. I open the door with an almost forceful pull.

"Sorry, did I wake you?" Haymitch was standing there, still in the clothes he was wearing earlier.

My face flushes bright red and for a moment I think he knows what I had been doing, thinking about him... But he couldn't of, of course not.

"No. I'm... I'm too curious about this other place to sleep properly." I stammer. Haymitch chuckles and I can smell the white liquor on his breath, he hadn't stopped drinking. "Liar."

I go even redder.

"Tell me sweetheart. You enjoyed that kiss a bit more than someone who is in a loving relationship with someone else should. Trouble in Paradise is there?"

I feel rage swell up inside me. "That is none of your business! What happens with Peeta and I behind closed doors is between us."

He snorts, a derisive smile on his lips. "Is there anything happening behind closed doors?"

I cant help myself, I slap him.

"I deserved that." He says as he rubs his cheek. "You can talk to me Katniss. I'm not your enemy. Come on. Neither of us are able to sleep. Lets go to the roof and talk. Have a drink." He holds up the bottle of white liquor. I shrug and motion him down the hallway, towards the entrance to the roof. I follow him slowly trying to bring my thoughts back to order. Once we reach the roof we sit in silence for as minute, taking small swigs from the bottle. Finally I fess up.

"Peeta and I have never had sex." It just comes out of my mouth. I feel a weight lift from my shoulders. It felt good getting it off my chest to someone who wasn't psychologically assessing me.

"Never?" The look on Haymitch's face showed his disbelief.

"Not once. He doesn't trust himself. He is scared he will have a relapse and kill me." I look down at the bottle in my hands and take a long sip before I continue. "I have never had sex at all."

Haymitch sat in stunned silence. "Well what do you two do then? You are still together, or you wouldn't be living with him."

"We kiss. He holds me as we go to sleep. That's about it." I feel the flush returning to my cheeks. It was starting to get weird talking to Haymitch about this.

"But don't you have... urges?"

I laugh. "The good Doc Aurelius helps me with that."

Haymitch's eyes widen in surprise. "How?"

I shake my head laughing at the image I was sure was running around Haymitch's mind. "He told me the brief dynamics of... well... you know..." I flushed as I tried to explain it.

"Oh okay. That's okay." He laughs, relieved.

I take another swig then hand the bottle back to him. "What about you. Do you have a lady fair hidden away here in the Capitol?"

He shakes his head then takes a long swallow from the bottle. "No. I usually... pay for what I want. I've never let anyone get close to me since I was reaped. They usually die on me. Well except you and Peeta. You two somehow showed up the old Capitol."

We both laugh drunkenly at this.

I look out over the roof and see the sun slowly starting to rise. "My prep team are going to hate me." I giggle. "The bags under my eyes are going to cause nightmares for them for weeks!"

Haymitch's expression stays serious. "You look beautiful, Katniss. I don't know why I ever thought otherwise."

I was now well and truly drunk enough for this conversation. "Because you thought I was going to die. When something beautiful dies it is a tragedy. But if you didn't think I was beautiful, then I was just another District 12 animal being led to the slaughterhouse."

"I never saw any of the tributes as animals!" Haymitch's roars at me suddenly. "Every time one of them died. Every time I was on a train looking at their scared faces, I hated myself! I would have given anything to go in, in their place! I don't need to be alive anymore. I shouldn't have lived when I was reaped!" Tears started to roll down his cheeks. "I should have died in there!"

I moved closer to him, putting my arms around him and holding him like a hurt child. I felt his tears drench my thin night shirt. Finally his body stopped shaking with sobs.

He lifted his head slowly from my shoulder. He started to apologize but I shut him up with a kiss. He pulled me to him, his hands slowly traveling up and down my sides, his tongue tracing my lips, asking for admittance. I willingly open my lips for him, letting his tongue explore my mouth.

"What on earth!" I pull away from Haymitch and turn to see Effie standing at the door. Her natural blonde hair is in a messy bun at the back of her head and a cigarette was about to fall from her fingers with her shock.

"This isn't what it looks like." Haymitch says as he stands and stretches out his stiff limbs. I stand up and rearrange my clothes trying to make myself presentable.

"What did I just see?" Effie asks, her voice shrill. Her whole body shook with either shock, anger or a combination of the two.

"Nothing and we would appreciate it if you don't mention that you saw nothing again." Haymitch says, taking me by the hand and leading me around Effie to the doorway back inside. "Now we are going to have breakfast and get ready for another 'big big big day!'."

The door barely closes before I start to both laugh and cry. "This is crazy. We cant do this."

Haymitch continues to lead me towards main room and the buffet. He doesn't speak again till he has loaded up a plate with bacon, eggs, potatoes and fried tomato.

"Look Sweetheart, we are gonna be gone for I don't even know how long. If we even come back. We don't need to have anything emotional. Just sex. You aren't getting it from Peeta. And I hate myself every time I pay a woman for it. We can finish it when and if we get back. If you feel uncomfortable about it. Tell me. We can stop it then too."

"Let me think about it." I whisper. Am I really considering this?

An hour later Effie reappears looking her usual Capitol self. Though still thoroughly shocked. Haymitch and I pretend like nothing happened.

My prep team appeared half an hour earlier than I they were meant to, and by the look on Flavius' face, he was glad they did. I was whisked off to my room to be waxed, plucked and reshaped by make up. They managed to make the bags under my eyes disappear and hide the many scars left on my body from the war.

Finally they put me in an outfit that Cinna had made before he had died. It was made from leather, lace and velvet and all black. It was both simple and elaborate. Knowing Cinna had made it, I felt instantly comfortable in it.


	3. Chapter 3

I was ready by quarter to eleven. I go to wait by the door of the elevator for Effie and Haymitch. I look at the warped look of myself in the refection of the metal doors. Just the blackness of the outfit reminds me of my Mockingjay armor. A chill runs down my spine. I see a silhouette come behind me and bend to put a kiss on my cheek. I turn to see Haymitch.

"Ready to face everyone, Sweetheart?" I almost laugh. 'Sweetheart' had gone from a word to cause me to fly into a rage, to an endearment in a day.

"As ready as I'll ever be. I thought we should wait for Effie. She might think we are up to something if we leave without her." I can still feel the alcohol coursing through my system, but of course the effects were growing less and less strong. I felt myself blush at my forward remark.

"No we cant go disturbing her delicate sensibilities. She might have a mental breakdown or something."

We both hear someone clear their throat. Turning, we see Effie standing there, and affronted look on her face.

"I don't care what you get up to in your spare time. I'm a personal escort now, not someone leading you to the Games. What bothers me is that you, Katniss," She said my name almost as a hiss, "are meant to be madly in love with Peeta, yet how I saw you both could make me think well and truly otherwise! How could you do this to him?"

Her words could not have hurt more if she had slapped me in the face. But she was right. How could I be doing this to Peeta? Had I gone mental? Well of course I had. I've had to wear that 'Mentally Disturbed' bracelet on and off since being dragged out of the Quarter Quell. But my mental instability was more me just not caring about anything. Now I was considering being Haymitch's lover.

I don't say anything. Instead I press the number for the floor we were having the meeting on. We all enter the elevator silently. _How can I do this to Peeta. How can I do this to Peeta. How can I do this to Peeta._ It runs through my head like a mantra as we descend. I decide when I get a moment alone with Haymitch that I will refuse his offer. I cant do it to Peeta.

The elevator stops and the doors slide open. The room inside is dim, or at first seems so. The roof, the walls, the floor and the furniture is all black. President Paylor, Beetee, Plutarch Heavensbee and Gale. He was sitting next to Beetee looking over some notes.

I take one of the empty seats and Haymitch takes a seat next to me. Under the table I feel his hand grip my thigh softy. It takes every ounce of control I have not to flinch away. _How can I do this to Peeta. How can I do this to Peeta. How can I do this to Peeta._

Finally Paylor clears her throat. "Effie, you are the only one here who does not know what is going on, so for your sake, and for everyone's clarification, I will explain:

"Several days ago, a message washed up in a bottle on the shores of District 4. The message was from a young girl who says she comes from a country called Kundana. After some research we have located the most likely location to be a country once known as Australia. We do not know if this girl is still alive, if her people are hostile. From the letter we have some understanding that they are developed, unlike the primitive people we know live on islands surrounding Panem. The idea is to go there and meet these people. Maybe form some kind of trade relationship with them. Does anyone here disagree with this?"

Gale raised his hand. "I don't disagree, but what do we do if these people are hostile? Who is to know how they will act when we arrive? As the girl stated, they don't think there is anyone else in the world. They may take us to me some kind of monster. I did some research into the Earth before everything changed and the people then believed that there were people who would come from space and take the people from Earth for experimentation. What if these people think we are like that? They may still believe those myths."

I nodded in agreement with Gale. That made a lot of sense.

"When we arrive we will carry a white flag. In ancient times it was a symbol of peace and surrender. Of course, if they attack us, we will meet them with similar force. Any other questions?"

No one answered.

"Okay. We will be leaving on a long distance hovercraft tomorrow at 900 hours. If you are not there at least fifteen minutes beforehand, we will leave without you, and you will be placed under arrest until we return. This needs to remain a secret until we have more information. Katniss, we will be having your prep team come with us as well. You are the face of Panem. You will be returning to the Mockingjay."

"No." My voice is almost silent. I clear my throat and continue. "I am not the Mockingjay anymore, and refuse to act like it again. If you are only going to be waging war on these people I want nothing to do with it." I remember how the young girl reminded me of Prim so much. I wont let Prim die because of me again.

"I will agree with that. No outfit. We will not wage war unless it is needed. Don't worry."

I nod. "I'll be there."


	4. Chapter 4

_This one is in Haymitch's POV just so that we can know exactly what is running through his head at the moment. Only a very short one._

_Otherwise, enjoy :D Will be back to Katniss' next chapter._

We travel up to the top floor of the training center in relative silence. Every time I tried to look at Katniss she would turn her head away, refusing to make any eye contact with me. When we finally arrived, she sped right off to her room and shut the door. I didn't know if I had done anything wrong, so I left her alone for a while. Maybe she would come to me. I walked into the main room and picked at the cold chicken sitting on the buffet. There was a bottle of wine on the buffet as well so I claimed that as well. Might as well get drunk. I sit there for an hour or so, slowly sipping on the bottle of wine when Katniss comes out. She is wearing a plain shirt and pants, her face freshly scrubbed of the makeup her prep team had coated her in. I had to admit it to myself, she really did look beautiful. When I started thinking like this, I cant remember. Maybe its because she was the first person of her gender to get close to me in a long time. She came and sat on the couch from me, as far from me as was possible.

"We need to talk." I look at her and her face is down, her fingers knotted in her lap.

"Then lets talk, Sweetheart." I hand the bottle to her and she shakes her head.

"We cant... Keep doing this. I love Peeta. Its not fair on him." She whispers to her knotted fingers.

I sat there silent for a moment. I could see where she was coming from. And I knew it was selfish of me to try and persuade her otherwise, but I was going to still try. "And what about you? What about your wants, your needs? We are going to be gone for no one knows how long. Just think about it."

"I'm not one of your whores, Haymitch."

That stopped me in my tracks. And she was right. I was just treating her like one of the paid for Capitol women I always sought out. I sighed. "Okay. I'll drop it. But the offer is still there if you want it."

Katniss stood up and walked away without another word. She was right of course. We shouldn't do this to Peeta. He was a sweet boy. Maybe I was just thinking with my dick when it came to her. But I did have a soft spot for her as well. But that was just because I was her mentor and she survived wasn't it?

It had to be. That made sense. I was to hardhearted to feel anything other than lust. She had grown from a plain Seam girl into a beautiful woman. Almost all the men in Panem thought about her. She could have anyone she wanted, yet she decided to stay in a sexless relationship with a broken man.

Why would she want me then? She'd get the sex, but I was just as broken. Just not in the same way.

And then it hit me. She was broken too. Not in the same way Peeta was. The same way I am. A strange emotion filled me then. Something I hadn't felt since I was a boy.

"Fuck, I'm in love with her." I say to myself.


End file.
